Change of Plans

I've come to realize that animal suffering cannot be avoided in any situation where they exist, akin to human suffering.


Animals are still killed and injured (intentionally or not) on small farms just as on large factory farms. Laying hens get old and are butchered; baby male dairy animals get sold for breeding or meat; predators kill baby chicks; baby goats get debudded which involves burning their skulls to ensure that horns don't grow.

The only way to remove yourself from this cycle is to eat and live a vegan lifestyle. I thought I would be okay eating eggs and milk if I lived on the farm it came from. This didn't sit well with my body so I quickly went back to eating a mostly vegan diet aside from occasions when the family made something with minimal animal products (they are very accommodating!). However, I still don't feel entirely comfortable because I've realized that being vegan isn't just about what you eat but other lifestyle choices you make, like wearing leather or wool, or supporting companies that use animal products in their manufacturing process or testing. It's virtually impossible to completely avoid affecting the lives of animals but minimalization is important to me (in many other respects as well, more on that to come).

Before, I was vegan mainly due to health benefits and my body's reaction to meat and dairy. Now my understanding and commitment go so much deeper. I'm truly grateful for this opportunity to face the realities of animal farm life and bond with the people and animals involved on a personal level.

For the past week I have been depressed, anxious, and literally sick. It took me several days to realize it was probably a physical reaction to what was going on in my head almost subconsciously. I've decided to return to Michigan sooner than expected. My conversation with Nancy went really well and I don't think there are hurt feelings on either side.

I've also canceled my plans to travel to Hawaii after having a sketchy and confusing conversation with the woman I was to stay with there. She kept insisting that I arrive 2 months earlier than previously arranged even though she would not be there and I would have to stay with someone she knew. She became very demanding so I explained that I had prior commitments and did not feel comfortable coming to stay.

But fear not! I have other incredible plans for August and September! I'm going to be traveling throughout Southeast Asia with my friend Carlos who is working on a travel site. We haven't met in person yet since he started his journey a week before I arrived in New York but I have met his incredibly awesome immediate family so I'm quite excited to take yet another huge step into the unknown.

Our itinerary is very open ended but I'm flying into Cambodia and we're intending to visit Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Nepal, and India. The great thing about traveling in SE Asia is that it is very affordable, making extended trips feasible for under $200 per week. I'm going to be entirely outside of my comfort zone so expect some complaining and existential insights over the coming months. Did I mention I'm going to be packing everything in a 28L (read: small) backpack?

Before I leave for SE Asia, I'm going to be applying to graduate school which starts next spring. I have begun studying for the GRE and am about halfway done with my application essays. My school of choice is Widener University in Philadelphia. I'm applying to their PhD program in Human Sexuality which will build on my undergraduate background in psychology and enable me to do research on some fascinating topics including bisexuality and non-monogamy. It's the only PhD program in the field from a fully accredited university and is highly focused on research rather than education or sexual health... so wish me luck!

Rule #1 while traveling: Be flexible and open to spontaneity!